20 Lessons From 2020

2020 was a whirlwind of emotions; it was full of highs and lows, beauty and disaster, accomplishment and failure. If I’m being honest… It was a complete mix of good and bad that came out of this past year.

I saw more places than I ever could have imagined and I met people that embraced me for who I am.

But as if a global pandemic wasn’t enough, like many other people, I struggled with mental health obstacles, the threat of possible job loss, heartbreak, failures, and so much more. 

Needless to say, 2020 took… a lot.

So maybe it wasn’t my year… and maybe it wasn’t yours either. But you know what, I’ve always been one to look at the positives. If there’s anything I can take out of this year, it’s going to be the never ending lessons that I have learned. 

If you’re still reading… here goes nothing:

 

Lessons On Life…

I can’t count on my fingers the number of times I’ve heard excuses about it “not being the right time”. Well guess what?! There’s never going to be. That’s the difference between the dreamers and the doers, the doers aren’t afraid to take the leap. In 2021 be a doer; take the trip you’ve always wanted to, buy the plane ticket, apply for the job, tell someone how you feel.

2. Your dreams are NOT too big

So often I heard that my ideas sounded ridiculous or too reckless. They weren’t, I was just surrounding myself with people who wanted me to fit into a mold of what life is supposed to look like. If you have big dreams, start surrounding yourself with people who do too. It’s a breath of fresh air having people encourage you, instead of constantly tearing you down.

3. The only timeline/path you can follow is your own

This was a big one for me this year. I’m constantly looking around and seeing my best friends getting engaged, having children, buying houses- Don’t get me wrong, I’m so excited for them!!! But these are major building blocks, that just don’t fit into my life right now. At the end of the day, if I went by what everyone else was doing, I’d never learn to appreciate my own journey. I wouldn’t have these lessons… and I wouldn’t be writing my story, no matter how chaotic it may be.

4. Some things aren’t for you… and that’s okay

Maybe it’s the city you moved to or the small thrift account you started. So… you didn’t love it as much as you thought you would- that’s okay!! Failure is okay. Without failure we wouldn’t find what we truly love, where we’re supposed to be, or what brings us happiness.

5. Age is just a number

The older I get, the more I realize that age really is just a number. What truly matters is in someone’s soul. I’ve met so many individuals whom I admire; the older people who live every single day like it’s their last. This is who I aspire to be- young at heart.

 

Lessons On Relationships…

6. Never stop giving your entire heart

You got your heart broken this year? Surprise me too… By a guy that didn’t even deserve half of me. I will never allow one prick… or the dozen before him, stop me from finding what I deserve… neither should you. It would be a shame to shut yourself off to future opportunities because you’re too scared to give your entire heart to someone. 

7. Say how you feel and say it again

I’ll keep this one short. Tell the person you love, that you love them. Scream it from the freakin’ rooftop. And if they don’t love you back, it’s their loss. Read that again.

8. But there’s also a time to not saying anything at all

Like when they say they don’t love you back or make you feel like you’re not worth their time. That’s when we say nothing at all. Life’s too short to waste your time on someone who can’t, or won’t reciprocate.

9. It’s never too late to start standing up for yourself

I dare you to start demanding the same respect that you give to others and see how many people stick around. I don’t care if it’s the person you’re talking to, the friends that have been in your life since you were little, or family members. You’ll find out who truly cares about you very quickly, I sure did.

10. The worst kind of guys are the ones who use you 

I swore I wasn’t going to talk about this anymore, but I think it’s only relevant to reflect on. It took me 24 years to figure out what the worst kind of guy is. It’s the guy who uses you and strings you along to gain confidence and then discards you when he believes someone better, prettier, or funnier comes along.

Listen up ladies. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but in 2021 we are not settling. This next year I’m working on ME. I want to be so filled with self love and confidence, that I never let a man make me feel like I’m not good enough, strong enough, or pretty enough. I NEVER want to be the girl that a guy thinks he can do better than- nor will I let that kind of guy into my life. 

11. Friends can break your heart too

This one stings a little. It’s very personal, extremely hard to write about, and it’s something that hit me like a full.on.bus. this year. I won’t write about the people that quite blatantly stabbed me in the back… although tempting. 

The worst heartbreak I’ve ever faced was caused by the friends I would have done anything for. Just imagine having people go behind your back, hoping you’ll never find out about what they did. Then when you confront them, they never own up to it and never apologize/talk to you again. 

This year I’ll continue to surround myself with people who encourage me and love me no matter what. Thankfully, I know who those people are now.

12. I may not know what love is, but I know what love is NOT

Love is NOT taking away the other person’s identity. Love is not only giving half. Love is not unsupportive, indecisive, jealous, or destructive. Love is not a scorecard. Love is not solely physical. But most of all, love is not just the good days.

 

Lessons On Emotions….

13. It’s okay to be sad

I think a lot of people struggled this year. No.. I KNOW a lot of people struggled this year. 

For me, it was somewhere between the dreams of moving to a new city that didn’t quite cut it, being told I was losing my job, feeling completely isolated due to a pandemic, moving back home, failing to accomplish most of my goals, getting my heart broken, or losing some of the people closest to me. 

There were days I didn’t get out of bed or made up excuses to cancel plans. There were days I cried in multiple hotel rooms around the country while traveling for work. It took me awhile to pick myself back up and realize it’s okay to be sad sometimes…. 

But what is NOT okay, is not asking for help when you truly need it. 

14. It’s NEVER okay to tell someone they don’t have the right to feel a certain way

“You have no right to be mad, we were never dating”

“You should be happy you even have a job”

“You shouldn’t be so spontaneous”

“You shouldn’t be tired, you did nothing today”

“You have no reason to be sad”

First off, I don’t even know how to address this because these are all things I’ve personally been told this year. Second, you never have the right to tell someone how they should or shouldn’t feel because you never know what they might be struggling with. Period. 

Other little things…

15. Social media is a curse and a blessing

I’m grateful to see what my friends from around the world are up to- social media makes it much simpler to keep up with people I haven’t seen in months. 

But it’s also way too easy to log onto any social media account and compare yourself to others. The flawless Instagram models, perfect relationships, world travelers. But what they don’t tell you is that people are only willing to share the highs in their life and keep the lows out of the picture… literally. You never really see the insecurities, the arguments, or the missed flights/canceled plans. Life’s not perfect and neither are people.

16. Make sure you see things through your own eyes and not through a phone screen

We’re all guilty of it- needing to take pictures and videos of every little thing we see, so that we remember things forever. But guess what? No one wants to see the 10 minute long snapchat story of the concert you went to last night. Instead, record your favorite song and put your phone away so you can soak in the moment. 

Something I’m making my goal for 2021 is to take in the moment through my own eyes and not through a 6×3 inch Iphone screen. 

17. Don’t comment if it’s not something someone can change in 5 minutes

I think this is an important lesson that every person should remember for the rest of their lives. For example, if your friend’s hair looks a little messy, her shirt doesn’t match, if one side of her eyeliner is uneven TELL HER because she can fix it in the next 5 minutes. However, you should NEVER point out anything that has to do with someone’s weight, height, race, sexuality. Seems like common sense… but you’d be surprised.

18. It’s important to stop and take in the beauty

For me this year was a lot like taking a hike… but only having tunnel vision for the final destination; so many times I overlooked the beauty in the adventure, forgetting to take a fresh breath of air and admire my surroundings. 

It’s so easy to overlook the tiny beautiful things when there’s a global pandemic blossoming around us. For me, it was going through everyday life, without actually living. In 2021, I’m challenging myself to enjoy the journey.

19. There’s never going to be a “perfect” body type

We put so much pressure on ourselves to look and feel a certain way, we forget that society’s idea of the “perfect” body type is constantly evolving. This year, I stopped telling myself that I needed to be skinny, and instead started saying that I want to live a healthy life; both mentally and physically. The one thing that never goes out of style is confidence, that’s what I’m aiming for.

FINALLY

20. If it won’t matter in one year… don’t spend more than a minute thinking about it. 

I’m tired of dwelling on people, situations, opinions that won’t even matter in 1 day or 1 month… let alone 1 whole year.  

Anyone who hurts you, anything that brings you down, or any situations that affect you negatively…I have Four words for you… 

Let. That. Shit. Go.